Anything Happen While I Was Away?

It's been months since I've done any posting here. Don't have a very good reason, except that it's been a difficult and confusing time.

Since I last posted, the manager of my department at work grew terribly ill and passed away. It was not an easy time, both professionally and personally. He was a terrific guy to work for, and certainly a good friend. I miss him very much.

Around the same time, another member of our department quit, and a third went on disability. Our department is down to half of the staff we had just a few short months ago. Things at work have been a bit of a whirlwind, as you could imagine.

I was recently asked to take the position as department manager, which I accepted, although somewhat reluctantly. I'm not the most organized person in the world, and was pretty comfortable handling my previous responsibilities. Now I'm a bit out of my comfort zone, yet I'm trying to look at this as an opportunity for growth (although, when things get hectic, I REALLY miss doing my old job).

Also during my hiatus, we elected our next President of the United States. Those who know my political leanings certainly understand how I felt on election night. I couldn't have been more excited... proud... hopeful. I watched the results coming in, pretty confident about the eventual result, yet not allowing myself to believe in its certainty. My kids went to bed before the winner was declared, and told me to wake them if something crazy happened and the underdog somehow managed to win. I settled in to watch history unfold - alone, focused, anxious.

When the polls closed out West, and the winner was finally apparent, I smiled. I watched the celebration in Grant Park unfold on my television through drenched eyes. Thank you, America.

Yesterday, some co-workers of mine went to Manny's Deli in Chicago for lunch. While they were eating, a row of black SUVs pulled in front of the establishment, and after several men in suits and sunglasses scanned the vicinity, the President-Elect stepped out of one of the vehicles and came in to order a sandwich. He greeted everyone there with handshakes and hugs. The local CBS affiliate was on hand to document the occasion, and several of my friends can be seen here:

http://cbs2chicago.com/video?id=51671@wbbm.dayport.com

When they returned from lunch, they shared their story with the rest of us, showing off cell phone pictures and videos. I'm jealous.

Red Barchetta

Here ya go, anonymous. Red Barchetta by Rush (at least the first few bars):

One Man Virtual Band

Since my employer decided to prohibit internet usage, I've been forced to look for other ways of filling my down-time here at work. Not that I don't have enough work to keep me busy throughout the day. I have plenty. But there are times when I get caught up that I might otherwise spend 15 or 20 minutes checking my email, message boards, or seeking out funny videos online.

I've thought about catching up on some reading. I have about 5 books that I've started before slacking off and leaving them on an end table. Frankly, I keep forgetting them at home. Maybe someday...

I have some old photos of my late Grandfather that my mother gave me to scan, clean-up and have prints made for the family. I'll bring them in if I could ever remember to grab them in the morning.

I've done some nice doodling on my desk calendar. August has been my most prolific month by far, with random scribblings covering no less than 11 boxes. It kinda reminds me of my folders in high school - without the Rush and Yes logos.

A few times I've gotten up from my desk to walk around the studio. It's rather expansive and the exercise would certainly do me some good. But I'm pretty lazy. And at my age, I wouldn't want to pull a hammy. Better to take it easy, maybe a shorter walk - to the vending machine.

Now the other day I was sifting through my computer's Applications folder in hopes of finding solitaire or some other time-waster, when I stumbled upon Garage Band. It's a program that Apple developed for budding musicians to use. You can record instruments, mix them, tweak them, and create song files. It's a kind of entry-level digital recording studio. I launched it just to kill a little time.

What I didn't realize was that Garage Band has "virtual instruments" built into the program. You can choose from guitars, keyboards, drums, bass, horns, strings... and a keyboard pops up. By simply moving the cursor and clicking the keys, you can "play" just about any instrument you want. While it has its limitations, most of the instruments sound pretty good.

If you click the record button and play, a bar-graphish timeline is created, plotting the notes you play. Then you can go back, move the individual bars around and listen back to it. With a little trial and error (and minimal amount of musical ability - like me) , you can put together melodies, harmonies, add instruments and create a whole song. So, I've found a good time-waster.

I suppose I should invest in a pair of headphones. Unfortunately my co-workers have to listen to random guitar notes and snare drum pops while I put together my little songlets. But they put up with it, and have even given me a couple of requests - songs they'd like me to try to recreate. It's kind of a challenge to see if I can remember the riffs, chords, and to recreate the different guitar sounds.

So here's a couple of samples of what I've come up with. Keep in mind, that there are no "voices" in Garage Band, so these are instrumentals. And I haven't built entire songs - mostly just intros, maybe a verse and a chorus. Still, feel free to sing along in your head if you know the words.

And if anyone out there has a request, I'll do my best to knock it out.

Enjoy...

I'm No Bill Shakespeare

Last year, while driving home from a weekend in Wisconsin, I had an odd experience. For just a moment I looked in my rear view mirror and saw my oldest daughter, Kendall, looking out her window, listening to her iPod. Not that THAT in itself was odd. But the way the setting sun lit her face was just, well, captivating. She just looked beautiful. I decided to just keep this moment for myself, for as long as it would last. A minute, maybe only thirty seconds later, we passed a line of trees which blocked the light. I hoped that once we'd reach a clearing, I'd catch another glimpse, but the sun had set, and it was over.

I can remember thinking that for the first time in my life, I was feeling what might inspire a poet or songwriter to put pen to paper (or, I suppose, fingertip to keyboard). It was remarkable, and I thought that maybe someday I would try to recreate it with a sketch, a painting or just write about it.

We just took another trip up north a couple of weeks ago, and as we drove back, thoughts of the image returned to me. And although I've never actually written a poem before - except the occasional school assignment - and at the risk of making a complete fool of myself, here goes...

A glimpse in my rear view mirror
She is amazing
Amber light from a setting sun
Tracing the contours of her perfect face
She is beautiful
Her eyes scan the horizon
Searching for nothing in particular
Mine dare to watch her
Instead of the road
She is striking
I have no oils to paint her
No camera to capture her
Only a moment while the light is warm
She is pure, innocent
Her head rocks ever so gently
Like the baby she once was in my arms
Headphone wires sway in rhythm
Slowdancing with her hair
Her lips mouth the lyrics
She is at once strong and delicate
I wonder what she's listening to
But it's not my music
It's hers

I Pinch, Therefore I Am - M.K.A.F. IV

My two youngest daughters have had to endure the harshest of living conditions throughout their lives: they share a bedroom. Torture, really. For both of them. If they had their way, and were somehow able to get word to D.C.F.S., I would certainly end up in prison. Detainees at Guantanamo Bay got NOTHING on these poor girls. Just ask them.

The horror that is their co-habitation is quite evident at night, when they are forced to try to fall asleep within mere yards of each other. If Jillian wants the radio on, Madison wants quiet. If Madison wants the hall light on, Jillian prefers the dark. If Madison breathes, Jillian prefers that she stop. I could go on, but I'll spare you the gruesome details.

Truly, the most painful part of their day, however, is morning. The incarcerated are expected to roll out of bed at an ungodly hour, and get dressed for school simultaneously within the 4 walls of their 12' x 15' dungeon. That's right, they're expected to TOLERATE each other for a whole FIVE MINUTES. Can you imagine? Oh, the humanity...

One morning, as I was getting ready to jump in the shower before heading off to work, I heard the distinct sounds of a apparent altercation. The shriek of pre-adolescent yelling, along with the thud of foot-stomping was coming from the direction of their bedroom. Concerned that the situation may escalate to violence, I threw on my robe and proceeded immediately to Block A.

When I opened the door to their cell, I found a red-faced Jillian standing in the middle of the room. Still in her jammies, she was rearing back to throw a pair of tightly folded white socks across the room toward an innocent-looking Madison who was sitting up in bed.

"What seems to be the problem THIS time?" I asked.

Jillian lowered her arm, clenching the socks in her tightly veined fist. She pointed at Madison, and cast a laser-like glare glowing red on Maddie's forehead.

Tight-lipped, Jillian enunciated accusingly, "SHE said that SHE doesn't KNOW if I even EXIST!"

Rubbing my eyes, I turned to the accused for a rebuttal. Maddie shrugged her shoulders. Eyebrows raised and cracking a half smile, she defended herself, "She COULD just be a figment of my imagination."

I sighed. Stumped, really. And as I re-tied my robe in an attempt to stall while my still sleeping brain tried to come up with a reasonable resolution, Jillian rushed across the room. Before I could intervene, Jillian was pinching Maddie's arm mercilessly and exclaimed, "THERE! Did you IMAGINE THAT?!"

I pulled them apart, Maddie's eyes welling up, Jillian huffing and puffing.

"Are you two KIDDING ME?!" I yelled. "I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're having an existential ARGUMENT?!"

It was all I had. Honestly, I was amused as much as I was stunned.

"I don't have time for this, I need to get in the shower. GET... READY... FOR... SCHOOL!"

Dear, sweet things. Under such inhumane conditions, should I expect anything else?

No WHAT anymore????!!!!!!!!!

At work this morning we had an all-employee meeting. This is something that has been occurring every two weeks or so over the last few months. Management decided this would be a good way to keep everyone here abreast of things: new clients, new jobs, new policies and general announcements. So far, I think it's been a good thing.

Until today.

It was announced that due to an increase in work-related bandwidth needs (client communications, file uploads and downloads), network access for employees would now be completely prohibited, except when used for company purposes. This includes internet usage, downloading or streaming music and video, checking personal email, instant messaging, even sharing music and pictures between workstations.

Now I know this seems perfectly justifiable. This IS a place of business, the company DOES own the computers. And I know that before the internet, people were perfectly content to fill their down time by reading, balancing their checkbooks, crocheting, or sexually harrassing their co-workers. But times have changed. Humans have evolved. We now have Yahoo and Google in our DNA and frankly, I don't see that there's any turning back. We can't just go back to the "good ol' days" of yester-yore (and thank YOU very much, Justice Clarence Thomas!). I mean, what's next? No ELECTRICITY???? Instead of a vending machine are we gonna have to hunt and gather for snacks?? What the hell is going on????!!!!

OK. (inhale) This is the new policy, I'm gonna have to deal with it. I'm pretty sure we can go online during lunch. We can do this. (exhale) God help me.

Unfortunately, dear readers, this WILL mean I won't have as much time to throw together these little tidbits. For some of you, I'm sure this is welcomed. I'm sorry I pressured you into reading this and that I ask you every time I see you if you read the thing about Midnight Mass. It's a funny story, but I'll back off. For the few of you who actually ENJOY my blog, well, I'll do my best.

To get through today though, I'm gonna pass my time by keeping a little journal which I can copy and paste into my blog later.

7:58am - Just got to work. Gotta go sign-in. Probably get coffee, then head over to the meeting. Should be a good one. Been working my ass off lately, BOUND to get some kudos. Better HURRY!

8:16am - These meetings are so stupid. Are they KIDDING me? NO INTERNET? Yeah, right. And what was that crap about "And special thanks to BRIAN who has be SO helpful over the last few weeks." SCREW BRIAN. Never liked him. He wasn't even at the damn MEETING! Oh, well. At least we're busy enough I shouldn't miss being online much.

8:17am - OKAAAAAAAAAY... I'm ready for some WOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOORK.

8:18am - Almost checked my email. WHEW. Ha, ha. THAT was CLOSE!

8:19am - Some work just landed on my desk - FINALLY! Be back later.

8:23am - Wow. That didn't take as long as I thought. (whistling) Would REALLY like to check my email. BUT I WON'T!!! Maybe I'll go for a walk around the studio and chat with some of my co-workers.

8:25am - Thought this place was bigger. Off to the snack machine.

8:26am - PopTarts. Delicious. Alas... MORE WORK!

9:47am - Well, that was a nice run. I wonder how full my email inbox is. Could be an offer to refinance my home loan. I'm LOSING MONEY here!

9:48am - Bored again. Thinking about tidying my desk.

9:49am - NAHHHHHH! Then management will think they've WON! NEVER!

9:50am - OK, this is insane. CERTAINLY there's SOMETHING I can do. I'll make a list of books I can bring in tomorrow.

9:51am - Who am I kidding? I can't think about reading books when all I can think about is READING EMAIL!

9:52am - More work. ...whew... that was close. Leg was getting twitchy, mouth dry.

10:38am - DONE! I kicked that work's ASS!

10:40am - Launched my browser, then remembered new policy, quit browser. DAMMIT!

10:41am - Feeling lump in my throat, bottom lip quivering. If I don't get a hold of myself, I'm gonna be crying like Mike Schmidt announcing his retirement from baseball. THAT was embarrassing.

10:43am - Just got back from bathroom. Threw up. Wasted 75¢ on those damn PopTarts. Splashed a little cold water on my face. I think I'm OK.

10:44am - No I'm not.

10:45am - Stood on my desk and held up a sign that reads "INTERNET NOW"

10:46am - Reprimanded for my "little Norma Rae act" and will have to pay to replace my keyboard. NOT that I'm gonna ever get to USE it again!

10:47am - More work. Maybe this will last until lunch time.

11:52am - Done.

11:53am - I think there are laws against this. Seriously. You can't just cut people off cold turkey. Gonna suggest letting people listen to the AOL "You got mail" sound once an hour just to get through the pain of the first few days.

11:54am - CLOSE ENOUGH!!!!!!! I'm checking my FRIGGIN' EMAIL!!!!!!!!!!!

11:55am - Nothing but spam. But I feel better anyway. At least my double vision is going away.

Light Fuse and Get Away

For the last 6 years we've been hosting Fourth of July parties. Pretty good bashes, if I do say so myself. Attendance has broken triple-digits most years. It's become a tradition for many of our friends and family members. My friend Dean (who's come every year, along with his sisters, their spouses and kids) tells me his nieces and nephews look forward to our parties almost as much as they do Christmas. Honestly, so do I.

We do our best to make the event enjoyable for kids and adults alike: water balloons, volleyball, swimming pool, trampoline, bean-bags, piñata, washers, horseshoes... beer, Jello® shots, "poison punch." If you've been to one of our parties and DIDN'T have a good time, well, I'm sorry, but it was probably your fault.

Of course the big excitement comes with the fireworks: mortars, cakes, fountains, repeaters... a true barrage. Several guests usually contribute to the pyrotechnic pool, and the show is rarely a disappointment. Sure, we've had our share of near disasters, but so far no one has ended up in the hospital, and I still have all my fingers. A couple of times we've drawn the attention of local law enforcement.

Officer: "Are you the home owner?"
Me: "Yes, sir. I am."
Officer: "You've got a lot of illegal stuff going on here."
Me: "Yes, sir. (snicker) I know."

Thus far, no arrests. (whew)

All-in-all the parties have been a success. For me personally, it's been a treat to have an annual occasion where people from so many parts of our lives (friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, etc.) can come together and enjoy each other's company. Very satisfying.

But this year, we won't be hosting any parties on the Fourth, as we'll be out of town. The family is going to Cornerstone, a Christian alternative arts and music festival. We went last year on a recommendation from my friend Maht, and had an incredible time (more about Cornerstone in a future post).

So, if nothing else, my fingers are safe for this year. For the rest of you, enjoy yourselves. Maybe we'll all tear it up together next year.

And whatever you do, DON'T leave an unlit mortar shell on the ground next to a sparkly fountain. Just trust me.